To All The Wounded Healers I Know…

(This was going to originally be a post for Clergy, but I realized its needed for my therapy colleagues as well…and so it is.)

Last night a good friend of mine SCREAMED in anguish about the Kavanaugh/Blasey Ford hearings. She is a survivor of sexual and/or physical abuse. I wanted to reach out to her and comfort her in whatever ways she needed. I still do, and to the extent that it’s possible, I hope to do that here.

When I was in seminary and people were just starting to talk about sexual abuse, it began to seem like it was an admission requirement to have been abused. It seemed statistically impossible that so many of us were abused. Thirty years later, with the Access Hollywood tapes and the ensuing #MeToo movement, it seems it was statistically reasonable, if morally repugnant, that my seminary class had so many survivors. Some didn’t make it through seminary, their PTSD symptoms and fragile minds unable to handle masters degree work.

For those of us that went on, we had some period of screaming ourselves, either before or after seminary. If we were in churches, we lost jobs and our congregation lost its leader(s). The church, the body of Jesus Christ, suffered again, as it had the first time, and continued to every time a person is victimized by sexual, physical, or emotional assault. If you are one of those people, know that Jesus weeps for you and with you and doesn’t abandon you to your grief.

The God of the ‘Apiru (remnant, the word that became “Hebrew”) loves all of the people of the world that were “picked last for softball”, or passed by in life by the powerful. That God is on their side. In Jesus, we see that, and we choose to work for the one who would have us, later realizing that we were actually lovable all along — it’s just that Jesus knew it first.

In picking up our own crosses, we took on the belief that we, in Jesus’ name could heal and love and welcome all the other ‘Apiru out there. Among people of this generation, there are many places where feel like “the sandwich generation”. We take care of our elders and we take care of our adult children. We take care of Security Security, hoping there will still be some left for us, and that things will get better for our children. And, psychologically, we take care of others’ anguish while we feel the pull of our own.

These past few weeks have been hard, really hard, for survivors who are also “people helpers” — clergy, therapists, social workers, or anyone who sees trauma in their daily lives. After yesterday’s session between the woman and the judge, that daily anguish reached a peak and then broke while we waited for the Committee to vote. I, for one, don’t want to listen to the news, because I have only so much room on my heart left for bruising. I will take a break for a few days before I engage The Powers That Be.

After that break, I will go back to the fray. I pray that you will do the same. It will take all of us to build a goal-line defense against the forces of evil until our country can be sane again.

That said, to quote Jesus again, “the meek shall inherit the earth”. We saw that yesterday in the clash of the devastated vs. those who devastate the world around us everywhere. Mr. Kavanaugh’s anger, nay, fury didn’t seem to hold any more weight than the shivering anxiety and truth-telling of Ms Blasey Ford. The truth held out, even in a weakened state. Her simple shakiness, stood against the bluster of the rage and her apolitical truth stood against the political games the world is wont to play. God was not distracted. Now, neither is the world.

To be frank, Judge Kavanaugh will never be taken seriously as a respectable judge until this is cleared up. He, and, only he, has the power to bring honesty to the story via a full investigation. Whatever there is to this story, her honesty makes her powerful and his lack candor makes him weak. Truth wins out, even from the abused, especially the abused. The arc of justice is bending, and in the right direction– and you have made that happen. There is chaos in Washington which reflects the chaos in our souls. The way to clean up the first is to clean up the second. That will come.

In order to do that work, my brothers and sisters, we need to rest up as much as possible and take care of ourselves. Then, we need to speak God’s truth and people’s experience until the actual truth, which we know in our hearts, comes to bear on a world bent by lies. When we care about those who need care, when we acknowledge those that the powerful tell us not to, when we refrain from bigotry, and encourage love, we will win and God will win.

Regardless of politics, we can see quality and we respond to it. After 18 months of lies and craziness, our former President reminds us what intellect and truth look like. The world stops to pause when kindness and truth speak. People choose well when they see that choices exist.

Do what you need to do to take care of yourself , tell congregants what you’ve been going through and why you’re so exhausted. If you’ve been empowering your people, let them test their wings for awhile. Share the burden. Even Jesus knew the work was easier with twelve or seventy-two than by himself. Use his wisdom.

If you have strength, keep up the battle of souls against Powers. When you don’t, dont. God wants us always at our best, because a) God likes to see us happy and b) we bring our “A game” to the world when we’re at our healthiest. Put on the breathing mask first so that you can find the mouths that need to be fed more of Oxygen of Truth.

Get a hug when you can, if that works for you. Receive God’s Spirit if that works for you. Sleep and rest, if that works. Laugh if that heals you. Create! Whatever gives you strength, do that. Be healed and don’t give up hope, because you are hope, and you shouldn’t give up on yourself. God doesn’t and neither should you.

Resisting with Peace,

Joh

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