I get that life is hard. Trust me, I get it. But seriously? You don’t have to make it hard.
Here’s a short list of things that would prevent me from getting business that you can do and everybody — not just me — would be happy.
1) Don’t molest your children. You probably can’t imagine how many things this messes up and how long the pain lasts for my clients. I swear sometimes that — under every symptom — there’s a sexual abuse/rape. It’s not actually that bad, but if a client is really messed up or complicated, I’m not surprised anymore if somebody somewhere sexually assaulted them.
2) Don’t deal drugs, don’t “turn somebody on to” a drug, don’t offer them drugs. See above. If it’s not abuse, it’s addiction. The addictive gene is out there, gang. You just never know who’s life you are going to turn to manure by “welcoming” someone into drug use. Oh, and YES, alcohol is a drug.
I could stop right there. 80% of my long-term business is there.
But there’s more — things that make those two more likely to happen…
1) Don’t beat your wife/girlfriend/partner. Women aren’t generally physically abusive to others. Instead, they tend to be verbally nasty when they are in pain or scarred (that’s not a typo). A guaranteed way to scar a woman? Beat her up. If you don’t want her to take it out on everybody verbally (including you) for the rest of her life, don’t beat her up now or ever.
2) Never pick on a man’s masculity. Just don’t go there. If you wound a man re: this, deep hurt will occur. From that hurt will come anger which will be expressed outward or sadness which will be turned inward. Want to guarantee a man will shut down and not talk? Pick on his manhood. Tell him he’s weak for having problems. Then try to find a good male therapist to help him. Good luck with that. Alternatively, you could save the time and expense and not pick on his masculine side.
3) Pay your employees enough to live on. The top 3 causes of problems in a marriage are money, power, and sex. I can deal with the second two, but I can’t pay them and I can’t give them money, and I can’t let them be at home parents because they have enough money andfeel safe enough doing so. Want to mess up society? Mess up a kid’s life by not raising them or fill their lives with anxiety. Want to save society? Pay people what they are worth. It may take a generation or two to get used to it, but I guarantee that we’ll all be safer.
4) Remember that other people are not you. Your dreams are great — for you. Your thoughts and feelings are real for you. Other people might think differently or experience things differently. If you didn’t become an all-pro quarterback or head of the cheerleading squad, it’s not your child’s problem.
5) Remember that sex leads to babies. If you want children, that’s generally how it happens. If you don’t want, can’t handle, dislike, or can’t afford kids at this time in your life, this is still how it happens.
There are ways to prevent this connection, but they don’t always work. They definitely don’t work if you don’t use them. A special note: antibiotics make “the pill” less effective. If you had antibiotics lately, you might take that into account. Men: if you were there at conception, you signed up for kids until they are grown. Maybe longer. Needless to say, sex when you are mentally impaired: not a good idea.
Children change lives forever. If you are ready for them, it’s incredible. If you’re not, it’s going to be a long life for you.
I’m not against sex or children, but like everything else I listed, they can be “the gift that keeps on giving” mental health issues.
So that’s the basics. If you can do these things, I still won’t run out of business. Life still won’t be perfect. I can handle that, and so can you.
If you want to keep the cost of mental health care down — and the crime rate, and your personal level of anxiety — you now know how.
Peace,
John
Because It Matters 