This evening, the President of the United States said, via his press secretary, “The President is the father of two daughters. And like any American, he believes that domestic violence is contemptible and unacceptable in a civilized society. Hitting a woman is not something a real man does, and that’s true whether or not an act of violence happens in the public eye, or, far too often, behind closed doors. Stopping domestic violence is something that’s bigger than football –- and all of us have a responsibility to put a stop to it.”
Simply as a reminder:
==> People who love you don’t hit you. It is as simple as that. By definition, if they hit you, they don’t love you. Violence does not equal love.
Expanding on that theme:
1) Hitting a person in a wheelchair is not something a real man does.
2) Hitting another man, if you’re in a gay couple, is not something a real man does
3) Hitting a senior citizen is not something a real man does
4) Hitting a child is not something a real man does
5) Shooting an unarmed person is not something a real man does
6) Bombing an unarmed person with a drone is not something a real man does
7) Bombing an unarmed person with mortar fire or a missile is not something a real man does
8) Raping a woman is not something a real man does
9) Drugging a person so you can rape them is not something a real man does
10) Molesting a child is not something a real man does
11) Terrorizing a person or population is not something a real man does
12) Killing, harassing, or kidnapping of journalists is not something a real man does
13) Stealing or posting nude pictures of a woman is not something a real man does
14) Starving children you helped to create is not something a real man does
15) Hurting an animal is not something a real man does
And, from Woody Guthrie: “Some men will rob you with a six-gun and some with a fountain pen”
1) Ripping off people is not something a real man does
2) Conning people is not something a real man does
3) Burdening and then blaming is not something a real man does
4) Making far more money than you need while the people who made you rich starve is not something a real man does
5) Avoiding responsibility for your fellow humans, especially if you made their lives worse, is not something a real man does
Real men have standards that they hold themselves to. Most of the time, real men don’t need to prove they are real men.
As the Jennifer Lawrence-and-everybody-else nude picture scandal happens, It occurs to me that it’s been a good year for thinking, if one is inclined to do so.
I read an article that said, “If Jennifer Lawrence wasn’t a ‘good girl’ (e.g. Miley Cyrus, Rhiannon, Nicki Minaj), we wouldn’t be having this conversation”. Wow. I never thought of that before, but it’s true. But now it is being thought about. The conversation has shifted from “people (women) shouldn’t take nude pictures of themselves” to “it’s a matter of privacy” and “blaming the victim here is like saying ‘her skirt was too short'”.
The tone of the conversation has changed. Because I like the show “Chuck”, I was fascinated by what actress Yvonne Strahovski said: “It is with great sadness and disappointment that I address this hacking issue. To my fellow actresses whose privacy has been invaded—my heart goes out to you. I’m so disappointed that there are people in the world who feel the need to comitt these criminal acts. Some of these pictures are fake, my own included. Regardless—I ask you all—do not share the links. Don’t even look at the photos. Just let people have the privacy they deserve. Integrity is sacred.” Again, after a decade of “leaked” sex tapes of the rich-and-famous where we all assumed the person leaked it themselves for publicity/financial reasons, now we’re acknowledging (as a society) that there are people on those videos or pictures and maybe they are embarrassed by them being seen by others. Strahovski is asking people to have integrity and/or respect the integrity of others. I suspect that she is, because she’s not generally thought of as a “political” actress, speaking the thoughts of your average person without an axe to grind.
By and large, the last time there was this much change in thought about sex and gender roles, Anita Hill was speaking before Congress. I don’t know yet, but I suspect that most men are cool with this new thought. We’ll have to see.
This summer, of course, Ferguson happened, as well as violence around the country between Blacks and authorities. As usual, there were the resounding voices of “if they weren’t criminals, they wouldn’t be in this mess”, but there was so much happening, in so many places, that the talk didn’t stop there. If one kid was shot by police, it could be a fluke — either a bad kid or a bad cop”, but racism and violence and race issues were so present, the issue had to be discussed. The press was attacked and jailed. Protesters were marched on by soldiers. There were a lot of people involved, on so many different levels, and they were all affected by it.
Also, this year, we have heard discussions about money and power and the inequality behind them as well. We have heard about Veterans that we called “heroes” being denied services by the scores. The idea that “climate change” might be real (remember last winter? I do). The idea that creation might be more than 6,000 years old was challenged by a respected scientist on PBS as well.
It occurs to me as I write this that we really — for the last 30 years or so — have had real difficulty conceiving of the world as more that one dimensional. We have moved into rigid categories of “Good” and “Bad” on both left and right, sometimes with good reasons, sometimes without. In any case, we have come to believe that because Good and Bad are so clear that people’s lives are the same way — Good Things happen to and come to Good People while Bad Things happen to and come to Bad People. Jesus said, “Rain falls on the just and the unjust alike” and we still have problems with this idea all these centuries later. But big events, where even “Good People” have “Bad Things” happen to them, challenge our notions of what’s out there and how the world works.
How does this happen? It happens when Good People step into the lives of people they don’t know and discover the reality that is the other person’s life. Police clashes with Black men have been happening for years. This time, there were people watching. Sexism has caused us to divide women between “sluts” and “good girls” for years. This time “good girls” are caught in the web of sexism. Rigid “patriotism” has separated “Real Americans” (supposedly “hawks”) from Un-American-types (supposedly “doves”) for years. This time, “Heroes” aren’t getting support from people that supposedly supported them and we now wonder “who is a true American”. As we all shovel out our driveways or stay inside because even the dogs won’t go out or deal with tornadoes we’ve never seen before, we are all caught in what ever is happening, whether we “believe in it” or not.
We have a chance like we haven’t had in years. All of these things cause us to think, to challenge what we know about others, because we have come to realize we are the “others” — they are related to us as we attempt to relate to them. In short, because we care enough or have been forced to look, we can now see. Let’s make the best of it. Let us listen to each other, let us watch each other, let us see the complicated reality of our not so simple world — and maybe let’s live in it together.
What a horrible week or two for the nation’s Black men. More horrible than the week before for Black men? I don’t know. Why? Generally it doesn’t get this far, so I don’t hear about it. “A Black man here, a Black man there, what’s the difference?”, it seems like the media says.
I knew that Black men and women had lost some of the gains that they had made post-Civil Rights movement. I didn’t realize we’d gone back to 1954. How does an all-White or nearly all-White police force work in an urban area. How does a predominantly White grand jury get convened after two weeks of violence? How does a White policeman who even allegedly shot an unarmed teen still walk the streets? Why does the Attorney General of the United States have to go down to Ferguson in order to get the ball rolling toward justice? Why are there no public documents that contain real information? How does a unit of policemen get broken up due to racist leanings and nobody follows through? In short, what on earth is going on down there?
Then there’s the phone video of another Black man being shot by White officers which contradicts the police report. The dead man seemed to have problems, but he does not seem to be a threat to two people with a gun. But even so, when did perjury become an acceptable thing?
My friend Barbara Marsden posted an article on Facebook about “What White People Can Do About Ferguson”. It’s a good article with some suggestions and I recommend it. I may give money to the United Negro College Fund, or join the NAACP or support the Southern Poverty Law Center. Mostly, I want my Black brothers and sisters to know this: This shooting of young Black men by police has to stop. I don’t like seeing films of water cannons being used on crowds. I like real cannon type-things driving down the streets of Ferguson or anywhere in America even less when people stand up for their rights.
I’d feel like an idiot wearing a “don’t shoot” shirt or raising my hands in solidarity, because I am not the person on the wrong end of a gun. But here’s what I am going to do: anything I can to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I am going to do anything I can to support justice in Ferguson. I will not be violent, in honor of Martin Luther King, one of the greatest Black men (or men in general) this country has ever produced. You tell me what you want me to do, and I will do what I can. Things should never have gotten this bad, and they should never get this bad again.
I suspect I’m not alone in this, but in case you haven’t heard it, I am another White man for racial justice.
This week and last, my wife and I are chaplains at a Christian summer camp called CYC in Ocean Park, Maine. This is the fourth summer camp I have worked on as staff, after being a camper for four years at Deering Camp and Conference Center, in Deering, New Hampshire as a teen. Last night, as we gathered around a campfire, I saw glimmers of each of my previous camps and I remain convinced that they offer some of the greatest good available to our youth, to our faith, and to the world. If that sounds like a stretch, witness the events of last evening.
The teens here were simply asked what they had learned after being here a week. According to them, what they had learned was that their lives could be changed forever by having their spirits loved into life. As we sat around the fire, I noticed that the songs said things like “How could you be seen as anything less than awesome?”. Who couldn’t respond to being told that for two weeks in a row? The camp director told one camper publicly that it was okay if they got angry at God for a big loss in their life, that God was big enough to handle it. What kind of a place gives people permission to safely express their anger and doesn’t grow healthy individuals? People talked about finding family here in ways that regular life simply couldn’t offer. Youth who had lost a parent at a young age talked about filling that hole with camp staff here and feeling whole for the first time. Children of poverty and crime and drugs spoke of having hope for the first time in their lives. Children of the suburbs spoke of feeling connected in ways that they thought only schools or their family life could offer.
I have served on staff at Deering with its roots in my denomination (the United Church of Christ), Skye Farm near Albany attached to the United Methodists, Silver Lake Conference Center in Sharon, CT (also attached to the UCC), Camp Wightman in Griswold, CT, and now here at Oceanwood, with its connection to the American Baptist Churches. In each of those places, people have become attached to their camps, their experiences, their friends for life. In each of these places, community leaders have arisen and changed hundreds of lives — many through being ministers, but others through teaching in schools, working with special needs children and adults, others through being social workers or community organizers, nurses or doctors. Each of these people sees the beauty and possibility in the people they work with because they now see it in themselves, and believe that God sees it in them as well. They have self-esteem and meaning writ large in their lives. How many organizations can say that?
These are not judging, critical, Bible-thumping, apocalypse-seeking, literalists who talk about sin and fund-raising in the same sentence, as Christians often are on television. The staff and campers here are loving, caring adults, teens and children who come for the sake of their spirits and their lives and their emotional well-being and do it for no or very little money. This is fun people having fun in ways that don’t involve sex or drugs or guns or gangs or anything that is killing children in Chicago this summer. This is the alternative to lives of jealousy, greed, skepticism, and violence which passes for life these days for far too many of our children. This is good people making good things happen from good lives –and terrible ones. This camp — like each of the others — is full of emotionally whole people coming from — and going back to — desperate places. I can’t stress enough that the world needs places like this.
And yet, denominations are closing places like this because … well, I do not know. Maybe the model of “summer camp” is dying, but as nature suffers, our connection to it becomes vital to life. Maybe the costs or liabilities are too much for denominations to handle, but what about the costs of having leaderless denominations or cities and towns rife with need? Maybe it’s a reflection of churches that are losing members in their own pews or don’t know how to reach out to youth, but if we don’t reach out to them or make worship mean something to them, how are there going to be lives which focus on meeting. Maybe kids don’t care or know about places like this, but introduce them to it and they clearly do care.
Five camps, in different places, with different roots, and having different traditions all have the same results — people with lives that matter, who are excited by hope and willing to help the people around them. I remain convinced forty years after my first experience at Christian camp that lives are changed and leaders are built by and I literally know hundreds of people who feel and act the same way. They are worth investing in. They are worth attending. They are worth so much to the church and society as a whole. They change lives. I hope you or your church or your family — or all of those — will be a part of the experience and make your community and the world a better place.
Deering has closed, as I said, and is now owned by someone else.
Here are links to the other camps I talked about.
Silver Lake: <a href="http://silverlake.ctucc.org/"
Christian Youth Conference (CYC):
(BTW, I get no money for talking about these places/groups. They’re just good places.)
President Obama this past week admitted that a Senate subcommittee’s report was coming out and he announced it by saying, “we tortured some folks”… and then continued on that we “shouldn’t get too sanctimonious” because “they were tough times and people thought we were going to be attacked again”.
Really?! Are you kidding me???!!! I like the President’s manner, but “torture” is not something you can say with a folksy charm. It’s not like “we took some folks fishing”. This is torture we’re talking about! This is the worst of humanity and we were culpable for it. This is what the Nurenberg trials were held for. This is why we have the Geneva Conventions. This is a big deal!
In that whole “winning hearts and minds” thing, this will have serious and severe consequences as the antithesis of that. This is the kind of thing we need to understand — when the next bunch of terrorists comes about, it will be because people have seen pictures of, or heard stories of, Americans torturing their people. It will be because the child of someone we tortured is reasonably angry about what happened to their parent. If we had pictures of Americans being tortured, wouldn’t we be on the first plane over there (where ever “there” was) with bombs and guns and tanks? So now when they come here looking to do the same, we can’t be surprised. It’s not because they’re monsters. It’s because we were, in response to some of them.
I’m not saying I don’t understand the impulse when an attack has happened or we’re afraid another one might. I do. But that’s why we have rules. As difficult as it is, we always have choices. We need to figure out why this happened. We need to apologize to those we tortured, and we need to do something different next time.
And we’re not going to do anything about it? Really??? I get that it’s politically a bad idea for one President and party to blame previous leaders, especially when trying to take the high road against partisanship. When will it end? I get that. I really do.
Here’s my problem, though: When pictures of torture from Abu Ghraib happened, there were court martials. Soldiers, who supposedly “went rogue” were punished, and there was talk back then that there were people higher up the chain of command who either gave orders or suggestions and then looked the other way. I supposed that they were soldiers trying to please their bosses. They were proving that they were doing their job. I could be wrong about that. What I’m not wrong about, though, is that these soldiers were punished while other people (CIA? NSA? We still don’t know) weren’t. It’s another example of the law applying to the people doing the work, while leaders who order it done have no consequences. The rich and/or powerful are different. Why?
Last I looked, the law was the law was the law. Justice was for all. Is that not true? Why not?
This is the most basic of all moral questions for a people. Mr. Obama, regardless of what else he does in office, has lost any ability to say he’s a moral leader at this point.
My friend Evelyn Eddy posted a reminder on Facebook the other day that about three tears to the day before I was born, something great happened. My denomination came into being and made the world a better and safer place. By my standards, we are the best denomination out there. The reasons are not immediately evident, but they are vital to my understanding of what God calls us to be.
When I do chaplaincy with the mentally ill at Hartford Hospital, I begin with this:
“Hi, my name is John. I’m an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ and I’m a member at South Church in New Britain, and I come to here to bring worship and the word and prayer and communion and all that sort of stuff… That’s who I am. You are?…” I say this because I am proud of all of that. I’m proud to be ordained. I’m proud to be a member at South Church, and I am proud to bring worship and the word and prayer and communion to people that other people would not acknowledge or scorn or simply throw away. I would be proud to be a part of any denomination that did that last part because that’s what Jesus would do. To be fair, many of my colleagues in all sorts of denominations would do that because it’s what Jesus would do. So, while that’s great, it’s not unique. But, when recently ordained Salem, Oregon minister Emily Goodnow does the wedding of two homeless gay people who fell asleep on the church steps, I know that tradition continues and I am proud. When supposedly “retired” minister Peter Wells goes to workshop after workshop teaching people how to make lasting change in the world while understanding how difficult the world is, I am proud. When Gordon and Cy Sherman and a gazillion people they raised in the faith are out caring for people and nature and causes you never heard of, I am proud.
Still, I have too may minister friends to say with any certainty that the UCC has the best minsters out there. God raises up great people in all sorts of denominations. I will say that being who and what we are attracts the best ministers to us, though. If you read this blog on any regular basis, you know the people I am talking about — Todd Farnsworth, Emily, Peter, Rick Fowler, the Shermans and the Deering crew. You also know that Baptists like Charlie Crook and independent pastors like Benny Claytor and Methodists like Newt Perrins are out there. God does what God does whenever and wherever God feels like it.
What makes our denomination so special? Barbara Brown Zickmund, one of ours, published a book years ago called “Hidden Histories in the UCC” in which she laid out the reason — people you never heard of fighting for women’s rights and civil rights and freedom from all sorts of slavery if I remember correctly. But what she also tells is the history of our polity (the way we do things) — and it is there that we find the hidden, subtle, not always understood thing that makes us great.
It is not that we don’t have problems. We do. We have abusive pastors, just like other denominations. We have mean and twisted congregations, just like other denominations — or non-denominations — do. It’s not that we have the greatest liturgy because every church has great liturgy and my favorite kind of Quakers have no liturgy at all. It’s not that we have the greatest music — our hymnal is as controversial as the next one and missing some incredible hymns bound to other denominations. It’s not that we’re right all the time about every issue. We’re not. We can’t be. We’re still human.
So here’s the deal, at least from my perspective: Our history and our polity yield a psychological health that makes it the best place to be you and me in the presence of God. Our denomination is not really just one denomination. In 1957, four denominations merged to form the UCC. On one side of the faith, there were the Congregationalist and the Christians who had become the Congregational Christian Church and on the other side there was the Evangelical Church and the Reformed Churches in America who joined to be the Evangelical and Reformed Churches. The Congregationalists (who I grew up thinking we were) are the Pilgrims and the Puritans from Europe and they believe that everyone should get a vote about what goes on inside the church. They believe in freedom and simplicity. The “Christian” church is the remnants of African-American churches started by and within slave communities. They also believe in freedom, of course, and had simplicity pretty much forced on them. I love the idea of having “Black Church” worship, with it’s deep, intense spirituality, in my blood.
The E & R side is really about limits — the limits imposed on us by sin — and the way we redeem ourselves from it. It’s also about doing good things in the world because they want to be good people in the world. It comes from a gritty, realistic view of what humans can be — in Germany during World War II, for instance. Not really into piety and moralizing myself, I thought I would hate these people but two of my favorite people — Daehler Hayes, former Conference Minister in Rhode Island and Doris Luckey, a parishioner in Rochester, NY — come out of this tradition. There are a series of hospitals and a health care system for seniors that comes out of this tradition. Further, as someone who works with addicts can attest, coping with the reality of sin and how to redeem and forgive ourselves is so very important.
Even people I didn’t think I should like inform and strengthen my faith because they force me to look at things I wouldn’t normally look at. Besides, I still don’t get how Daehler — one of the most unique people I have ever met — can come from such a structured background, but he does.
We are all on a continuum of faith and needs — some need more structure, some need less, some really need the Bible and some really need politics, some like prayer and emotions and some like to stay in their heads. If you can’t find a place where you fit in the UCC, you’re definitely not looking hard enough. That thing we say, “No matter who you are, or where you are on life’s journey, you are welcome here”, is incredibly true and basic for us. We take in “strays” from other churches all the time because we can.
Taking you through “life’s journey” requires people who see faith as a life-time journey. There is a small movement here in Connecticut around life-cycle Christian Education and some of it’s leaders highlight the diversity of views here. Caroll Cyr, more conservative; Jane Rowe — traditional but not necessarily conservative; and Char Corbett — grounded but not necessarily traditional or conservative, all are involved and they get along well, informing each others’ work while committed to helping you figure out what you believe. They are them and they respect you for being you because that’s what we do and that’s how we think we should be.
My favorite psychological theorist, Virginia Satir, used to say, “The problem is not the problem. Coping is the problem”. We as humans can’t predict what the future holds. But we can figure out how to live with it and deal with it. We cannot control the existence of problems in the world. The challenges of today — Climate Change, Gay rights, immigration reform, prison reform, the existence of new “designer” drugs — weren’t even real things to our ancestors, but we deal with these issues all the time today.
How do we do it? We know that no one person or no one ideology or no one anything has all the answers. No one is right all the time, and the changes keep on coming. Our answer, in the United Church of Christ, is to widen the size of our possible answers enough that you can find yours. In one circumstance, Jane may have the right answer or process, in other Caroll or Char might. In another, Daehler or Doris might. In yet another, I might or you might. And even when an answer comes nationally (at our Synod, every 2 years), we acknowledge that it might not fit for the local congregation, so it’s not binding until they agree to it.
This dynamic isn’t who we are, because we change all the time, but it comes from who we are — it’s a bi-product of our being together. That’s what makes it “hidden” and hard to put your finger on, just like it’s hard to put your finger on The Spirit.
But, while I have a chance to make things more visible, I have wanted to write a piece on “be careful of the quiet ones”, people you never heard of doing incredibly good things in the world for a while. Here’s a shout-out to some of the UCC people I know that you should know, too.
Bob Kyte, somewhere in New Hampshire, a good counselor and friend that the Spirit just quietly flows through.
Julie LaBarr, and her family, the Sloths, genuinely nice people who care deeply and wrestle with issues all the time, while remaining Christian through it all.
Lynn Carmen Bodden, now living in Upstate New York and working in Connecticut, one of the best interim ministers in the entire country — loving and caring warmly while taking people through the deepest changes.
John Hudson, The Sherborn Pastor, in Sherborn Massachusetts, intelligent and caring, making a difference with his writing and his biking during the summer.
Leigh McCaffrey in Florida, the hardest working woman in the biz. The Blackest White Woman I know. Met God in a bar, and still believes those people have something to say.
The list goes on. As Mark Strickland of Lynnfield, Massachusetts used to sing, “You can meet them all at tea or at lanes or sea. The saints of God are folks like you and me. And I mean to be one, too”.
I was thinking about it the other day and it occurred to me, “What if the NRA is right?”. What if guns don’t kill people, people kill people? They have guns in other countries. I don’t know where and I don’t know what kind, but I’m sure that people in other countries have guns. Their guns don’t seem to fire as often as ours do. Their guns don’t seem as deadly as ours. In Springfield, Massachusetts, where I work, there were three people killed last weekend by drive-by shooters in two cars. Today, a man was killed as he attacked a courthouse with a gun in Atlanta. Yesterday, a man attempted a mass shooting in Seattle. That’s a lot of people dead via guns that don’t kill people.
What’s the deal with guns? Is it also true of other weapons? To be sure, there was a boy recently who attacked a group of his class-mates with a knife recently, and nobody’s screaming to take away everybody’s knives. Switchblades and bats and crowbars have been the favorite of gang members for years. Probably more crimes are committed with those weapons than with guns yearly. What about the broken bottle used in a bar fight? Nobody’s screaming to halt the sale of beer in bottles. There are probably a hundred or more ways to kill a person. Why do guns get singled out? That’s a good question and it deserves an answer.
It is because our culture is different than European or Asian cultures or South American cultures. Our very Constitution enshrines guns as the weapon of choice for Americans, if that’s how you read the Second Amendment. The Constitution doesn’t say, “a militia being important for the common defense, all weapons are protected. It says “we have the right to bear arms”. Switchblades somehow don’t make the cut, or crowbars or firebombs or even atomic bombs. When we think of bearing arms, we think guns. Americans equate guns with freedom and liberty and patriotism! Then we do something weird with it. We flip it upside down logically. If you don’t own a gun, you’re not free. If you don’t own a gun, you don’t have or enjoy liberty. If you don’t own a gun, you’re not a patriot, at least according to the NRA. or places that require you to carry a firearm.
Now there are a couple of problems with that idea. On a personal level, I feel free and I don’t own a gun. I believe in liberty and democracy and all those good things, and I don’t need a gun to do so. It seems to me that my love for all of those things makes me a patriot, with or without a gun. But more than my personal opinion, there is the question of what real militia people do with their guns. On this memorial of D-Day, I am struck by how patriots — genuine, actual, heroes — only fight when they have to, and then they go home. The heroes of the “Greatest Generation” went home after being heroes and — according to tonight’s news — never said a word about it. They didn’t say, “We’re heroes”. They just were. War didn’t make them heroes. Their humanity made them heroes — their love for others, not their love of war. They took up arms because they saw no other way. They put down their weapons as soon as they could and went back to being engineers or farmers or doctors or whatever they were “in real life”. If the “Greatest Generation” took up arms and saw violence as an un-natural thing, why do we see weapons as patriotic? It is because we love war so much and we worship violence, especially if we don’t have no experience of war. Presidents and politicians who actually fought in wars are often against war as an option. Eisenhower, Colin Powell, Kennedy — none of these people wanted to have endless war. Bush II, who didn’t go even to his National Guard post, loved war.
How we got there is a whole other question, but I think that Eisenhower had it right when he talked about the military-industrial complex (in the 1950’s!) and how our economy was being built around weapons and war. Weapons are money-makers. To make more money — and to restock the shelves — we have to use what we have. The best way to use all those weapons/make more money is to have a war. The only way to have a war is to forget that there are people on the other end of them. The only way to forget humans die when we use weapons is to focus on something else — some idea like Love of Country, “freedom”, wealth, jobs, racial superiority or something as simple as productivity.
Men have this thing about manhood and productivity — The Man Code says if you’re not bringing home the bacon, you’re not a man. Even I buy into that one. The problem is that in order to do that, you have to keep a product going in order to keep the job going. Threaten a man’s job, and you threaten his status as a man. If more jobs out there are related to weapons, then more more men derive their male pride from building weapons. If we had other jobs as the basis of our economy — say, farming, like we used to do– we would still have our pride, still be productive, and we wouldn’t be so attached to weapons. Instead, our pride gets wrapped up in weapons, which require wars, which require a focus on proving we’re men. How do we prove we’re men? We make things. What do we make? Weapons. And so it goes…
So there it is — “Freedom” is having guns, Making guns is “masculinity”. In order to be a Free American Man, guns are required. For people who don’t take mental health care seriously, we sure have taken Freud to heart. Like everything else in America, bigger is better. If a gun that shoots one bullet is good, then a gun that shoots a lot of bullets is really good. If a gun shoots a bullet is good, then a gun that launches rockets is even better. If a boom is cool, then a big “Boom” is even cooler!
“Why all the fuss about men and guns?”, you might reasonably ask. As mass murder after mass murder happens, the one constant is that there’s always a man — or someone who will grow up to be — on the end of the trigger. I don’t think there has been one mass murder — in a theater, in a school, at a government office or anywhere else — committed by a woman. As long as American, Free, and Male are considered good things to be and ideals to strive for, and as long as we twist them with so they are confused with needing weapons, we will have the problem of mass shootings. Some part of America’s psyche believes in, and likes, mass shootings because some part of us likes the exercise of the rights of Free American Men. That part of us is insane, because it tries to do good things (I like being free, American, and male!) by doing horrible things (killing, killing quickly, making Big Booms with people involved).
All of this leads us back to … guns. Even the staunchest gun lover doesn’t believe that crazy or impulsive people should handle a (neutral ?) weapon. My grandfather, a gun tester as his occupation and gun user in hobbies — got out of the woods when he perceived that trigger-happy people were running around in them. Respect for the weapon meant avoiding them when crazy or stupid people had them. One of them meant you had to be careful when hunting. More and more of them meant you got out of the woods. We need to get out of the woods and we need to get out of them until things calm down and folks can prove that they can handle their weapons.
Furthermore, if people can’t handle their regular guns because they are insane in this society, then giving them bigger, faster, more deadly weapons makes less and less sense. Giving people the power to go faster in the wrong direction is further proof of our insane thinking. We can’t handle guns at this point in our history. When we stop connecting freedom with a gun, and masculinity with shooting a big one often, then all those “neutral” guns can become the neutral, respected , scary things they used to be and we’ll be safer.